The day you found out you were pregnant.
You were so excited, you couldn’t wait to tell your partner. You might have told your parents, maybe a couple of close friends. You signed up for some pregnancy or baby promotions online.
You called the midwife and your doctor to let them know you were going to be needing them.
You were daydreaming of that day in 9 or so months when you would be holding your little peanut, relishing in their smell, their tiny little fingers and toes.
The worst thing happens.
You don’t understand why. You think back to that time you helped carry the groceries in or that one glass of wine you had before you found out.
But none of it matters because now everything you had been waiting for has been taken from you.
And I know it’s somber and its wrenching your heart reliving it right now – as it is for me just writing this – but there is hope.
It’s been almost 3 weeks since I had a miscarriage and it still hurts my heart every day. And I know I will have another chance and once day I WILL be holding that lovely little pooping bundle of joy.
But it still sucks.
If you’re like me, the first thing you did when you had an inkling was: you checked out Google.
“Symptoms of a miscarriage,” “cramping and bleeding while pregnant.” And you told yourself that it was implantation bleeding but as the symptoms worsened, your hopes started to fade.
Here are some of the signs to look for:
-Period-like cramps in the lower abdomen
-Sore back (mine was sore the night before, I could barely sit)
-Heavy bleeding (“gushing,” not just spotting)
-Tiredness (I stayed in bed almost the entire day)
Here is a great article on Today’s Parent on more miscarriage signs.
If you do have any these symptoms, it’s recommend that you head to the doctor or call your midwife. I waited until the next day to go as I was only a few weeks along and I knew there wasn’t anything they could do at that point. Also, I wasn’t feeling up to leaving the house.
If you are in a lot of pain and bleeding excessively (or if you are later in your pregnancy), head to the hospital. Don’t take chances with your health!
The doc will most likely make you take a pregnancy test to check whether or not you are registering as pregnant still. There is still a chance that it was a false miscarriage.
What’s the next step?
Undoubtedly, you are going to be sad.
Let it happen.
If your partner wasn’t with you throughout the process of miscarrying, make sure you let them know and if you can, get them to come spend time with you.
If you have a friend or a parent you feel comfortable telling, I would do that as well.
The bigger support system you have, the better.
You’ll probably want a hot water bottle or a heat pack for the cramps. Mine lasted 2 days but they can last longer than this.
As far as the bleeding goes, the internet experts say that it can last from anywhere between 7-10 days. I was “lucky” and only had about 4 days of bleeding (but I was also very early in my pregnancy).
Again, if the bleeding lasts longer than this or it is continues to be very heavy, PLEASE go see the doctor.
Over the next couple weeks/months, you will be grieving. That is a fact.
There will be a twinge of sadness when people announce their pregnancies. You will smile half-heartedly when you see someone’s cute baby.
Just know you are not in it alone.
If you are struggling right now and need some words of encouragement, email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) or leave a comment!
You are loved,